tell me a story. and make it a good one.

whatshouldwecallme:

The morning:

The afternoon:

so here’s a goal for 2012. a late new year’s resolution, if you will. it’s a toughie and it might not get done this year (in fact, it’s kind of an ongoing goal). but it’s also very necessary.

the goal is to stop being scared of who i am. that is to say, to stop apologizing for myself. no more trying to mold my identity into some weird collage of other people that i admire. stop trying to be this non existent person, dominique. i want to be okay with myself enough that i can stop saying sorry. i want to be unapologetically me.

and notice that i’m saying the goal is “stop” instead of putting a more positive spin on it (like, for example, saying the goal is to start being more confident). I’m saying it this way, with the “stop” instead of the “start”, because I feel like I need consciously put an end to this. it’s not really something new. it’s not a quality or a personality trait that i’m going to plant and nourish. that’s the 2nd step; or, at the very least, they come hand in hand. the bigger goal, however, is to push away the negative thoughts. the goal is to battle this fear i have of myself. to take my fragmented self and stitch back together. i want to be whole. 

humans need so much approval and reassurance. but i don’t want to depend on someone else’s opinion. enough waiting on other people, enough following. i want to be the leader of my own goddamn fan club.